I learnt how to sleep again
My Digital Detox Diary
The last time I came off of socials was in January, around the time my dissertation was due and my mental health was on a minus. This time, however, I’m feeling great. So why am I doing this? Well, I have three very clear reasons: refocus my attention to God, minimise comparison, and maximise the hours in my day. I could do all of those things while still being online, but I could also do all of those things much better while being offline. There is the obvious season of change with me finishing uni, but with that also comes emotional and mental evolutions. It’s important to be intentional at this time, so here is a reflection of how life has felt two weeks after submission.
Why I did it
I had actually planned to take a mini social media break way before I actually handed in my assignment. The deadlines were around the corner, a backlog of content was piling up that I hadn’t posted and it all became a bit overwhelming. So I made the decision that when I submit, I need to take some time for myself, by myself. This next phase of life that I am currently in can feel uncertain and ultimately uncomfortable if you feel like you have to answer to others. Although 2 weeks is not a lot, it was enough for me to realign my focus with things that actually matter and give me perspective on my situation. If you are in a similar position, even if you don’t post online, I would still recommend a social media fast — as in delete all the apps — and spend time with yourself.
What I planned to do
During this time, however, I planned to use it to start preparing and laying the foundation for my next steps. That wasn’t a bad intention at all; it sounded great on paper. My blog was the only thing giving me real structure, as I had to make sure that that continues to be updated daily to maintain my 100-day streak (which I have been doing). But I also wanted to spend this time updating my LinkedIn, job searching, self-help books, gym, vision boarding, and goal setting. I wanted to keep the ball running and hop on from my studies straight on to the next thing. In my mind, I was already behind.
What I ended up doing
However, when these two weeks arrived — the plans quickly disappeared. I unashamedly spent a lot of that time sleeping. At first, my body couldn’t sleep well because I had done back-to-back crazy late nights leading up to my submission, so it’s almost as if I forgot how to sleep. But when I actually managed to fall asleep for the first time knowing that my laptop wasn’t desperately waiting for me in the morning, it felt really good. As students, we often see sleep as optional or even a weakness, a sign of a lack of commitment. But as humans, we should learn to see it as mandatory. So as crazy as it sounds — I learnt to sleep again.
During the day was another challenge. My brain was actually fried from all the research and studying I did towards my final project, so I knew it wasn’t the time to take in new information. Even if I read the best self-help book in the world, the information was not going to stick, so I took it easy on myself and swapped my self-development hacks for hobbies. Those hobbies were: crochet, tennis, Bible journaling, tried and failed at running, cooking, etc. You can read more about those hobbies, but the main thing I learnt was that those hobbies are self-development in themselves. I love my course and my career path, but I used this as a time to disconnect from that for a bit and open up myself to other things. We are not one-dimensional beings, so we should have multiple facets to ourselves.
Near the end of the second week, however, is where it became a bit tricky. I may have learnt to sleep again, but I still didn’t know how to rest. This is a whole blog post in itself. My mind was now bored of chilling, but my mind also knew that I needed to appreciate this time while I have it. I needed to rest, but I didn’t know how. It’s not necessarily a bad thing or character trait to have — to want to be working towards something or constantly be on the go. But it is a bad thing to not have the self-awareness to understand the season you are in. I have been running on overdrive for the past three years within and outside uni — I not only deserve rest, I need it.
Reflections
Even though these two weeks are now done and I’m ready to turn my walking into a slight jog in this marathon we call life — my next mission is to learn how to rest. If not now, when? When I am booked and busy with bills to pay and mouths to feed? Incorporating moments of peace daily is how we avoid crashing out. At church last Sunday, the message said that stopping only when we are really struggling is when we crash out. I am learning to define what consistency means for me in all areas of my life to be able to run at the pace suited for my life.
