I convinced myself I was failing

Diary of a part time over thinker

This blog post is short with no sugar. The title means exactly what I have been thinking this week. The mind is truly a beautiful, complex and funny thing. Instead of thinking about how much I love my final project, I let one plus one equal four and decided that I was failing. Don’t ask how I got to that conclusion, the answer is a bit embarrassing … ok fine, I’ll say it.

Yesterday evening was another one of those days where I sat infront of my laptop intent on getting work done. But it’s pretty hard to do so when the screen is looking a bit blurry and I come to realise that there is nothing wrong with my laptop - I was the problem. After a good chat with my sisters we came to this crazy conclusion:

I’m not failing. I’m not even struggling with the work. I am however trying to ignore the fact that I’m finishing uni. So instead of just doing the work, I’m delaying it because I think if I delay it I can also delay the ultimate end of uni. What a thought. I’m not yet at the unpacking stage of this feeling, acknowledgment is the first and only step I have taken.

It’s funny because after our chat yesterday, I said I won’t write this blog post until I feel like I am on the other side of it. I changed my mind and started writing today because that is the whole point of this blog, to share the tea as hot as it gets. It’s nice and all hearing people on said other side telling you that things get better. But sometimes, you just need the part you are going through to be validated. So feel free to take this as validation for whatever awkward stage you are experiencing at school, work or life.