Comparison is a scam
How to prepare for seasons of change Part 1
Before I get into this, I have a confession. I have never done this before so there is a chance I am wrong. I have never done this part of life, so there is a chance I get this “wrong”. But what I’ve come to realize is the only thing I can do wrong, is to not even try. Someone recently told me, life doesn't just happen, you make life happen to you. There are many things that can happen beyond your control when starting something new - your job is to make the variables work in your favor. So this is part one of a series of things I am doing to prepare myself for change. Today’s topic of focus is: comparison.
I start with this because comparison really is the thief of joy. When I find myself falling into this trap, I really have to catch myself before it manifests itself as other negatives such as self-doubt or even jealousy. Before you enter your next season, before you begin to look at your future, you need to be content with what you have. There is a difference between being happy and being content. Being content comes with a sense of peace. It’s more permanent than happiness. I can be happy about the grade I got, but be content about my ability to learn - without comparing my abilities to anyone else. You will never be content if you are never taking the time to look at what you have because you are distracted by what you don’t. I want you to have the high-rise apartment, the dream job, the great partner - but that will never come until you love your now, regardless of what someone else has.
Comparison also comes when you are trying to work according to someone else’s schedule, simply because you don’t know yours. Having inspirations and role models is great as guidelines if they are doing what you want to achieve. But they stop becoming inspirations when you confuse example with rules. Their experience and timeline will never be the same as yours. They might have won x award at 20, but you will get it at 45, that doesn’t discount any of your efforts. If you keep comparing your goals, your achievements, your lifestyle, you will miss all the things that you are doing.
Comparison is called the thief of joy because it really snatches your joy without you realising. You are not always conscious when you are comparing yourself to someone else. It might be a celebrity that you look up to or a close friend that you admire. In the moment, you might genuinely be happy for them, but later on when you aren’t having a great day, your mind has a funny way of reminding you of everyone who seems to be doing better than you.
Action: You need to be intentional about how you choose to be content. The feeling of contentment should last throughout different seasons of life - I won’t lie and say I am always content. But I have somehow found a way to be content during uni, and also during this current season of having no immediate job lined up. There can be contentment during periods of uncertainty, confusion and even sadness. What I am doing however is acknowledging that my emotions can be in a fragile state so I am coming off of socials for a couple weeks. This is to spend time focusing on my own plans and goals rather than scrolling to see who is further on a path that I don’t even want to take 😂. (Another thing - why do we compare ourselves to things we don’t even want?)
These are suggestions on how to gear yourself up for next steps. But I’m not going to omit the fact that there are so many things, so many unfair things that can make trying so hard. All I can ask you to do is your best, as simple as it sounds, that’s all I am asking of myself too. You never want to look back at your time in your life and realise that you could have, should have, would have done more or done better. Do your best and let God do the rest!
